Winter Poly Wonderland 2020 Program
ZEGG Forum – Daily
We’ll be using the ZEGG Forum daily to bring out what’s under the surface in our community. Forum (http://www.zegg-forum.org/index_en.phtml) was created at ZEGG, an intentional community in Germany, and its sister communities as a way of promoting transparency and mutual understanding among community members. ZEGG members found that decision-making meetings often got derailed because of emotional conflicts and undercurrents that were not known to or understood by all. In Forum, each individual’s experience could be seen and understood, leading to greater empathy and creativity in the community. Now, many residential and non-residential intentional communities have adopted Forum as a way to maintain ongoing connection, intimacy and understanding.
The goal of Forum is to reveal what is alive but not known to all. The community sits in a circle, forming a stage for one person at a time to stand and show what is true for them. Facilitators may assist the person (or “presenter”) to reveal themselves more deeply. Afterward, community members may offer reflections, or “mirrors,” on what they saw.
One of the gifts of ZEGG Forum is that it allows us a space to appreciate every perspective without taking it on as “truth.” Every voice has its own poignancy, its own wisdom, its own truth, that does not negate the wisdom and truth of other perspectives. Allowing all voices to surface and be known can lead to a profound and unexpected integration within a community. We tend to think that events leading to painful experiences and conflicts are bad, because they feel bad in the moment. However, when we open ourselves and compassionately witness what is happening for everyone, these experiences can be gateways to greater closeness, understanding, and love. When conflict emerges, whether or not we are in a formal Forum space, we can choose to listen in this way. This deep listening sustains and nurtures community life and relationships.
Connection Pods – Daily
These small groups meet daily so that people can share experiences and support each other.
Sensual Space – Open Daily
The Sensual Space is a place for structured and unstructured education and exploration of sensual and sexual concepts and connections. This space is a resource for those who wish to make use of it; none of the core workshops will take place in the Sensual Space. There will be an orientation for people interested in the Sensual Space on Saturday evening.
Jump-starting Intimacy – Friday Evening
Let’s find out who’s here and what we have to offer each other! We’ll spend much of the time moving around, meeting new folks, and building relationships. Here we will learn about each other, camp, and the land we will share for the coming weekend. Participants can engage with the group and get quick, direct feedback on issues they care about. We’ll also have time to go deeper in one-on-one connections. This is a quick, fun, easy way to lay the groundwork for our time together, get a sense of the group, and get to know each other!
Creating Our Culture of Love and Freedom: Opening Circle, Orientation, Pod Creation – Saturday Morning
In this workshop, we will begin to lay the cultural groundwork for our time together at Winter Poly Wonderland. We will meet & connect with our “pods” or family groups, get to know the facilities and guidelines of the space, and set the stage for all the wondrous things that camp may bring!
Boundaries: Finding the Sweet Spot – Saturday Morning
Mmm, that glorious moment when we are giving exactly what our partner wants to be receiving! Sometimes we find that “sweet spot” spontaneously—but more often, we find it through clear communication and feedback. How many of us say “yes” to things we don’t actually want out of guilt or a fear of losing connection? In many ways, “no” is the most daring and intimate response possible – if I can hear your “no”, I can trust your “yes.” Let’s practice finding that sweet spot of mutual “yes” —through a series of juicy experiential exercises we’ll offer and/or request touch, negotiate the touch we want, and give verbal and nonverbal feedback on the touch we receive. This practice will serve us well in both sensual and non-sensual contexts, helping us find the space of mutually desired connection that is available with each person.
Emotional Intelligence in Non-monogamous Relationships – Saturday Afternoon
This workshop focuses on concrete skills and practices that make relationships work well. Knowing your truth, speaking your truth, working skillfully with emotional triggers, holding compassionate space for others, developing curiosity about ourselves and others, letting go of attachment to being “right” – all of these contribute to loving and intimate relationship with self and others. We’ll engage body, mind, and emotions in this exploratory and experiential learning process.
Transforming Jealousy Into Love: Part 1 – Saturday Afternoon
After a brief presentation defining the Four Pillars of Jealousy Transformation, we will dive deeply into a dyad exercise where we will learn and practice the Deep Heart Sharing Process. Learning the communication tool will help you keep your relationships clear and connected. This workshop is especially helpful for couples or those folks in any kind of a dyadic relationship. If you would like to take this workshop with a triad, foursome or moresome, just let me know and we will make the necessary adaptations to the exercise.
Music Jam – Saturday Night
Whether you’ve never touched an instrument or been playing since you were born, come play, connect, and express yourself through song! Bring your favorite instruments, use your voice, or borrow one of our instruments– we have guitars, hand drums, maracas, a triangle, and a keyboard.
Sensual Space Orientation and Opening – Saturday Night
The Sensual Space is a warm and inviting space to explore Connection & Intimacy by engaging all of the senses. This is a space to lounge together after spending the day learning communication and intimacy tools – the perfect place to practice communication and share affection in a relaxed and sex positive atmosphere. We will give a conceptual introduction to the space and ask past participants to share about their sensual space experiences at past camps.
After the Sensual Space Orientation, those who wish will proceed to the Sensual Space for its official opening. All are invited to explore the Sensual Space – the opening activities will be sensual but nonsexual, and the Sensual Space Team will create a clear transition when the space becomes open for sexual connection.
Secure Functioning Polyamory – Sunday Morning
Research overwhelmingly shows that human beings thrive not by becoming self-sufficient little islands, but in securely-attached relationship. Can we have this and also be polyamorous? YES! This workshop will help you understand how to transform your relationships into safe harbors from which you can launch your ship and flourish in life. You’ll receive tools to build and maintain secure-functioning partnerships – without control, ownership, couple privilege, and other monogamy-centric ideas that are anathemas to healthy polyamory relationships.
Standing in the Power of You – Sunday Afternoon
Transforming Jealousy Into Love: Part 2 – Sunday Afternoon
Loving oneself can be challenging if we never experienced unconditional love as a child and/or an adult. In this workshop, we will practice vulnerability which inevitably leads to deep connection with others. Once we have created an authentic connection with the group, we will learn to absorb the kind love and appreciation from others that leads to loving ourselves.
Ecstatic Dance – Sunday Evening
“Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance. Great dancers are great because of their passion.” ― Martha Graham. Whether you’ve danced all your life or never set foot on a dance floor– come express yourself with radically accepting, loving community! In this space, all forms of expression are welcome– from yoga, to laughter, to shaking, to rest. All bodies, movements, emotions, and sounds are welcome… as we find Ecstasy through Dance.
As our time together comes to a close, we will connect, reflect, tie up loose ends, and prepare to re-enter the outside world. What gifts will we bring with us from Winter Poly Wonderland? What will we create in our lives and communities?